The feedback from my team's performance reviews floored me

Even though we’re only two years old, I started having performance reviews for my team. We talk all the time so I didn’t think it was going to be a major event. I found an appraisal form online and sent it to everyone. It asked for everyone’s input so I thought it would be a good idea.

When I got the forms back from the team, I was upset and concerned by what I read. Everyone said I was a poor and weak leader. They also said I couldn’t make decisions and they didn’t trust me. Finally, everyone said if they were offered another job, they would take it.

This was the first time I heard any of this. Why didn’t people tell me this? I had never been a manager let alone a CEO, so I had no idea whether I was doing a good or bad job.  They must have been discussing this behind my back for some time and used this as a way to give me feedback. I was so upset that I didn’t want to come into the office and I certainly didn’t want to carry out the individual reviews.

The stress of my startup sent me to the doctor. Now I'm doing yoga!

Everything was piling up and I couldn’t see a way out. I was only sleeping three to fours hours a night and was exhausted all the time. I had severe headaches. My wife kept telling me I am short-tempered with her and the kids.

At work, I was the only one getting anything done. There was no problem I couldn’t solve, but the tensions at work were getting to me. There was never enough time or money. People didn’t get back to us when they said they would. I was the only one in a rush to get things done.

Yesterday a tax bill came in when we haven’t even made a sale. How was this possible? I called the tax bureau repeatedly, but no one ever answered the phone. I don’t have the money to make the payment and I don’t even know why we’re being charged.

Over the weekend, I began to feel depressed and my skin started itching. I did not want to get out of bed and for the first time I didn’t want to go to work. The final straw came when one of my key people quite. I went to the bathroom and started crying.

The next day, I went to the doctor and she told me I had a stress-induced condition. She offered me some medication and told me to figure out a way to reduce my stress. I’ve started doing yoga everyday and it's helped me manage my stress.